Yes. I cannot get to sleep since yesterday night. Ever since I got to know about it. I really don't know how to handle this. I tend to think alot into stuffs. Which sometimes make myself think that I am under depression.
I thought all these stuffs have come to an end a long time ago. But it just keeps haunting me. I am afraid. But does anyone know how I feel? I don't know.
I just find it hard to explain myself. I want a "healthy" gf. Not one that indulges in night outs. Not saying that this is illegal or whatsoever. But I have seen couples breaking up and stuffs because of such "unhealthy" activities. It is addictive and harmful.
I just don't want to take any chances with my relationship. But I just don't know how to put it into words which you can understand. I treasure this relationship very much. This relationship means alot to me. Especially when the Promise still stands. 100 yrs right?
I am in this dilemma where no one will understand. I try to play it safe. But it just seems to me that it is not the correct way to handle everything. Do I really have to wait for things to happen before realising it is too late? I don't know.
Que sera sera, Whatever will be, will be. Should I just let everything fall into place? Or control how it should fall into place? I don't know.
Love does make people go crazy. Somehow it just makes me do silly things for you. I just want to see you smile. However, now things have changed. Have you?
My post is very random. But it is potraying what I am thinking. Everything is in a mess. My brain. Just like my room.
Being paranoid drives me crazy. I hate it. I can't take it anymore. Maybe I am just a lousy BF who just don't trust my GF.
